Tuesday, August 26, 2008

My first time using Weed

Apart from the fluoxitine I currently take for my depression, the Caffine in my coffee, and the Morphine I took as a pain-killer for my Scoliosis Surgery, the only drug i've ever taken is Weed.
Since about the age of 14 i've known deep in the back of my brain that when I got the chance I would not just try Weed but use it regularly. Not suprisingly I was around 14 when I first got depression. Thinking positively about life was no cure as depression always weedeled it's way around that. So in my mind taking drugs to alter my state of mind was as inevitable as getting my period.
I was this eager to try weed but being extremely socially stunted, I had no way of getting to it.
That was untill I met Wanda. Wanda was a little bit phyco and that was what instantly attracted me too her. She worked with me in the fudge factory and I just knew she would be all into that illegal stuff that I had no way of getting too. Somehow I managed to put all my social problems aside, and get out more then 2 words each time I spoke to her.
She told me she had been kicked out of home when she was little. She had also been with an abusive boyfriend who made her so mad that she ended up chasing him with an axe. She had crashed her car a few times and earned several fines. In my mind she was one of the most fascinating people I had ever met.
She invited me to her house. I agreed. She felt I didn't look cool enough for her to be seen with in public, so she straightened my hair before she took me out to the mall.
After two minutes of walking in a mall she proclaimed "this is so boring, let's go somewhere else"
And so we were of to some random guys house who she said was the hottest guy ever. I didn't belive her.
We arrived. He was extremely hot. He had long black dreadlocks and he used to be a model.
I decided to shut my mouth as I didn't want to scare him away with my retardedness too fast.
Against all odds he seemed to like me. Maybe it was that I had freshly straightened hair, or maybe it was my innocent naivety that intrested him but he seemed to be paying a lot more attention to me then most guys ever do.
We went straight to the garage out back and he got the fire going ready for the weed. I was extremely awed of the way he swiftly heated a rod on the fire and then stuck it under a bottle from which I was too suck up all the weed. I sucked it in and felt a bit of pain in my lungs.
I was very scared when I watched him taking the weed himself. He seemed to put all his heart and soul into sucking it up, and he almost fell of his chair.
A minute later I announced that I did not feel any different which was the truth. Now I know that you need to wait 3 minutes before you can tell if your high. At the time I simply thought my body somehow needed more then most people's. I had a second, and BAMM, I was screwed.
The world began to feel very very heavy, like gravity was about to pull me down into the ground. I told the hot guy with black dreadlocks this and he said it was all in my mind.
I dragged myself too my feet and we made our way to his room. I sat on the floor and tried too control my facial expressions. Alas I could not, Wanda sat there laughing at how "weird" I looked.
I began laughing............I can't remember why.
The hot guy began to question me over and over about my life and my friends. I found it very hard to answer him fast enough before he asked another question. Each question left me in deep thought. He appeared to be smirking at me, but I could not tell properly because it seemed like the world was hazy.
The hot guys dog came in. He began screaming at the dog and viciously shoving him out of the house. Hot Guy had suddenly turned into a schitzophrenic phyco. I was very afraid that he was going to kill the dog. I had forgotten that weed could make you paranoid so I did not know that it was only the weed affecting my thoughts. I went to the toilet. I became extremely scared that he was going to bust in as there was no lock on the door. I pissed while holding my hands outstretched against the door.
When I returned to the room The hot guy seemed to sense my tension. "relax, just enjoy the high" he said wisely. the rest of the time there consisted of him asking me difficult questions, and him and me staring at his fish tank. Tanya seemed to be a distant memory in the back of mind giggling over and over, even though she sat only a few metres away from me.
"shit my mum's ganna kill me" I said. Tanya offered to drive me home.
"But...but...but what about that don't get stoned and drive ad?" I asked knowing that there was none, but being too stoned to think of anything else to say.
They cracked up laughing and we left. On the way home I brought a cookie and stuffed it down my throat. She left me at the end of my drive. By this time I needed the toilet again.......badly. I tried to hurry down the driveway, because I felt like my mind was so scared about pissing my pants that I would piss my pants just because I couldn't stop thinking about pissing my pants. I also felt like the weed had affected my bladder control. Ya know the kind of thing you only think when stoned. Well yeah, I made it too the gate before all of hell's waters broke lose. It trickled down my socks and shoes, so I took them off and threw them in the garden.
Then I rushed into the house and tried to act completely normal.
The next day my mum asked why my shoes and socks were in the bushes.
"ummmmmmmmmm, nevermind it's not intresting" I answered guiltily.

Monday, August 25, 2008

Born in Bars

The punishment is already here
stretched back since when the torment started
all these times the old man acted
fake laughed
fake smiled
fake cryed
destined to waste his life
there was no escape from his baby skin
from the only society's, living revolved in

Sunday, August 24, 2008

The Ultimate Woods Party Playlist

Okay imagine your boats crashed and your stranded on an island, deep in the woods, surrounded by about 50 of your closest friends, and 50 random hot guys. All that exists at this one moment is you, the cute guys eying you up, the wild scenery, and a stereo (don't ask me where the stereo came from). This is one of my top 5 dream scenarios. But of course the right music is essential so here is what would be on my "Woods Party CD"

*Michael Jackson - Beat it
*Pantera - Walk
*Nirvana - smells like teen spirit
*Lady GaGa - Just Dance
*MGMT - Electric Feel
*MGMT - Kids
*MGMT - Time To Pretend
*Red Hot Chili Peppers - Under The Bridge
*Guns N' Roses - Welcome to the Jungle
*Billy Idol - Dancin With Myself
*Bob Marley - Everything's gonna be alright
*Bob Sinclar -Love Generation
*Bon Jovi - Wanted Dead or Alive
*Aladdin - A Whole New World
*Filter - Take a Picture
*The Goo Goo Dolls - Iris
*A Perfect Circle - The Noose
*Phil Collins - In The Air Tonight

Sunday, August 3, 2008

The "Special" Story

I was in the supermarket the other day looking for a nice plump chook too eat for dinner.
Please note: I was feeling particualrly awkward this day. One minute I felt like I was trying to hard to walk with confidence, then the next minute I felt like I was trying too hard not too.
Turns out all the chickens are on special. So I buy a big one. Then as I go to line up everyone is staring at me funny. I'm scared that I have something on me, So once outside, I check my clothes only to find a bright yellow special sticker stuck dead in the middle of my jersey.
Please note: It was on just the right degree angle too allow people too realise that it had not been put there by me intentionally as a joke on myself. But rather got on a special person such as me because of my specialness.

Friday, August 1, 2008

I call this poem Priya

Priya, I never deep down truly ment anything I said to you in that text. I said it all because I felt unloved and inferior. It was horrible for me to say those things, and not only that, but I havn't been able too sleep properly since I sent it to you. When I sent it I was hoping you would send something back saying how much you could not live without me being your friend, and how sorry you were for neglecting me, and how you needed me. But now I realise why would you have sent me that when I said untrue, uncalled for things all because of my own insecurity.
This is not an excuse but I was feeling badly depressed that day and have been feeling much worse ever since I sent it. You will always be the best friend ever too me. I drew you a picture too and named it Sisley. Sisley is wearing a dress that I thought could be one of our designs. Annoyingly I could not photocopy it up here as The stupid printer was not working.

Anyway I am asking for your forgiveness. Please forgive me. P.S I got a sample of some apparently real skunky (it's supposed to give us a real good high) weed. I havn't used it yet, do you want to smoke it with me? I'm free today and tomorrow and any time up till wednesday.
We can test it out, and I can show you Sisley.
Here is your poem.


It's happened again
what happens only too me
only to someone inferior

i've given you everything
I set you free
I opened you up to who youve always dreamed to be

i never thought the time would come
when you would let me go
out into the wilderness in my artificial snow

you leave me with nothing
not even goodbye
leave me on your doorstep for I infinitly cry

like a cold cup of tea
like a old book of quotes
like the same resounding song, once beautiful notes

you keep ............pushing me away
like the thousand fathers fore me
and the thousand from this day

I cry everything right now
for today and for tommorow
could be 100 years more fore you forgive me for my sorrow

design by suckmylolly.com : images (c) historypicks.com